Family Resemblance Pt3

My grandmother used to cite a
popular phrase. If some individual around her
was less inclined to complain about their life circumstances
than others around them, she would exclaim, she has the patience
of a saint. And by that saying, she meant
that patience was such an uncommon virtue that only the most pious
saint would exemplify it. That familiar saying at least
hints at a more Roman Catholic understanding of what a saint
was, a very rare, almost legendary person well known for their religious
devotion. Well, contrary to my grandmother’s
understanding of the meaning of the word saint, there may
have well been a great many more saints than she would have believed,
but it was nonetheless true that patience is a very rare thing. That word saint, as we’ve seen
before, refers to anyone who has placed their faith in Jesus
Christ for salvation. It’s not just a select group
of super religious people. And godly patience is indeed
a virtue, a character quality that is only possible through
the grace of God. And it’s only attributable to
saints. Only believers in Jesus Christ
can truly exercise godly patience. But the sad reality is that even
among true saints, those who have put their faith in Christ
for salvation, godly patience is still a rare thing. This morning
we want to look at the godly virtue of patience. We’re working our way through
Colossians 12 through 13, and it’s a lengthy section. Began
in 3.1, carries all the way down to 4.6, and it’s all about Christ-like
living. And here in the fourth observation
that Paul has made the fourth feature of Christ-like living.
Paul is highlighting spiritual characteristics by which we resemble
God himself. Family likeness, we’ve called
it. And we’ve seen that there are spiritual features that will
be recognizable immediately upon conversion. And there will be
traits that develop slowly over time. Either way, the Christian
will resemble his or her God. Thus far, we have noted what
we’ve titled our established identity. Those features that
are immediately recognizable in the child of God. Paul speaks
of them in the opening line of verse 12, those who have been
chosen of God, holy and beloved. Upon conversion to Christ, these
three spiritual features will be seen. You can’t be saved without
them. The second point in our outline
referred to our developing character. This is where we were last week.
These are the features that will eventually be revealed in the
Christian. They’re developed over time.
And we considered four of these features, all from verse 12.
We looked at them last week. We saw that Paul commands that
we, as Christians, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility,
gentleness. These are the godly features
into which a child of God will grow. And that leads us to one
final character quality, patience. This too is a quality that will
be, should be developed over time. And Paul takes the time to really
expound upon it in verse 13. If we could, let’s review our
passage one more time. Colossians chapter three, verses
12 and 13. So as those who have been chosen
of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and
forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone.
Just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And we call
this, our point number three, reciprocal graciousness, because
we are expected to emulate the forgiveness that God himself
has already exemplified. If we could, I want to go directly
to the end of verse 13 as we begin to look at this reciprocal
graciousness. The renewing Christian is going
to progress in their godliness. There are established, there’s
an established identity, as we’ve seen. There’s a developing character. And here, Paul says that we are
to look at what God has done and emulate that. And he begins with the word patience,
there at the very end of verse 12. As we’ve already noted from
our study thus far, patience is the fifth and final developmental
character quality. But as I’ve said from the start,
it’s plainly set off from the other four by what follows in
verse 13. It’s a very detailed exposition
of the nature of godly patience. He doesn’t do that with any of
the other features. Chosen, beloved, kindness, gentleness,
they’re all just simply named, stated, and left unadorned. The patience there at the end
of verse 12 is explained in verse 13. To say that patience does
not come naturally to us as humans or even as believers, or that
it is a virtue that must be cultivated and developed is a colossal understatement. We are inherently impatient. Like little toddlers, we want
what we want now, not later. We’re impatient with people.
We’re impatient with traffic and driving. We’re impatient
with customer service. We’re impatient with lines. We’re
impatient with delivery services. We’re impatient waiting on the
phone. We’re impatient with other shortcomings and on and on and
on. Even with all of our technical
advances, by which we have far more time available than at any
point in time in history, we are still impatient. As we’ve
often done throughout this study, I’d like us to consider some
parallel statements that Paul makes in his epistle to the Ephesians. And the similarities here are
striking. Would you flip back to Ephesians
4? Ephesians 4, two books to your left. Let’s just look, first of all,
at the first three verses of Ephesians 4 as they echo essentially
the same thoughts that Paul is expressing here in Colossians
3. Ephesians 4, beginning in verse
1, I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk
in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called.
with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance
for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity
of the Spirit in the bond of peace. And while you’re here
in Ephesians 4, would you just glide down to verse 32? Here,
Paul echoes another thought from Colossians 3.13. Ephesians 4, 32, where Paul says
there, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each
other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. We’ll come back to the thought
of forgiveness in a moment. I just wanted you to see the
similarities in these letters and in these particular texts. If you would, though, go back
to Colossians 3. Now, the Greek word for patience,
both here and in Ephesians 4, is makrothymia. The word is used
14 times in the New Testament, mostly by Paul, and it’s used
to describe a mindset that sweetly bears with the quirks, the faults,
the insensitivities of others around us. But patience must
also be shown even towards someone who is abrasive or rude, unkind,
inconsiderate, or even just downright unjust. Rather than drawing the
line and lashing out, the patient person allows great latitude
for the graceless imperfections of others. That is a quality
that ought to mark the Christian. James characterizes this grace
in these terms. He says, we ought to be quick
to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. This word, macrothymia,
is famously translated in the King James as long-suffering. The very opposite of being short-tempered
or hot-headed The person who shows long-suffering or patience
endures not only minor inconveniences or offenses, but mistreatment,
injustice, provocation, even intentional injuries. The individual
marked by this grace does not give way to bitterness, resentment,
and retribution. Now, we know this attribute best
as an attribute of God. There’s a recurring declaration
in the Psalms that says that the Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and great in loving kindness. It’s that phrase, slow
to anger, that pictures God’s patience. God is long-suffering
even with the outright rebellious and wicked behavior of his people. Paul also uses this word to refer
to God’s peace and his kindness towards sinners. Romans 2.4,
do you think lightly of the riches of his kindness and tolerance
and patience? God’s patience is an infinitely
practical patience, but it’s a real patience because God is
infinitely holy, and we are exceedingly sinful. Indeed, while we were
yet sinners, Christ died for us. No sinner deserves his patience. No sinner could ever be saved
without it. Well, Peter likewise uses this
word, 1 Peter 3.20, to speak of God’s long suffering with
the world. When the patience of God kept
waiting in the days of Noah during the construction of the ark.
Peter uses it in a much more contemporary exhortation when
speaking of God’s perceived delay in Christ’s return for judgment. There in 2 Peter 3.15, he says,
regard the patience of our Lord as salvation. He’s not dragging
his feet. He hasn’t forgotten. Paul also
attributes this divine attribute to Jesus, who says in 1 Timothy
1.16, that he, that is Paul, had found mercy so that in him
as the foremost of sinners, Jesus Christ might demonstrate his
perfect patience. That was Paul’s testimony. And he did so for our sake. as
an example for those who would believe in him for eternal life,
Paul says. Well, patience is not only a
divine attribute, it is also produced in believers as well. In 2 Corinthians 6, Paul tells
of the godly patience of his team, his fellow gospel workers. James uses the word to speak
of the character of God’s prophets, patient men of God, James 5.10. Paul sets himself forth as an
example of patience and numerous other virtues in 2 Timothy 3.10. And so Paul could justly urge
this godly quality of young Timothy and really of all shepherds.
when he said that such are to reprove, rebuke, exhort with
great patience and instruction. 2 Timothy 4, 2. The noble quality
of patience is after all a fruit of the spirit. as Paul described
in Galatians 5.22. Now earlier in this very epistle,
Colossians 1.11, Paul prayed that these same believers would
be growing in steadfastness and patience. Likewise, the writer
of Hebrews exhorts all believers to be imitators of those who,
through faith and patience, inherit the promises of God, Hebrews
6.12. So patience, godly patience,
is the grace that allows a bothered or even an offended individual
to keep his or her anger in check and to do so for a long, long
time. And make no mistake, this patience
is displayed not merely in the face of some minor irritation,
But even with a serious and sustained provocation, the individual has
suffered a legitimate wrong. It’s an objective offense. Anybody
would see it as such. And yet the Christian patiently
endures in quiet grace. All thoughts of revenge or retaliation
are quickly dispelled. The godly, pardon me, this godly
patience is the opposite of what I would call a simmering irritability
that ultimately lashes out at those who offend them or cross
them. The opposite of a short-tempered
individual. And it’s not that this person
quietly sits and utters imprecatory thoughts about his unkind or
unjust friend. He hopes the best, waiting for
God to soften his friend’s heart. He waits for God to show him
his shortfall. There is, with the patient believer,
an uncanny and peaceful calm, a developed ability to carry
oneself in godly restraint. There’s forbearance. don’t misunderstand
it, it doesn’t ignore outright sin in a fellow believer’s life,
but from a desire to preserve the unity of the body of Christ,
he is slow to confront, to stir trouble among the fellowship. He seeks by all means to protect
the Christian fellowship, even if it means suffering a wrong.
He or she perseveres. He or she waits on God. He or
she is patient. And Paul immediately seeks to
explain this developing grace of patience. And he does so in
the entirety of verse 13. Everything that follows in that
verse serves to describe the grace of patience. But Paul’s
description can basically be reduced to two things. bearing
with one another, and forgiving each other. Let’s consider each
of these if we could. First of all, bearing with one
another. Two descriptions of patience,
this is the first. And again, out of a desire to
maintain the unity of the body, this is essentially an application
of all the previous virtues mentioned. A heart of compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness. and especially patience. The
word in the original is anekomai, and it’s used about 15 times
in the New Testament, relatively popular, and it can be translated
as endure, bear with, or even tolerate. Now, I know that the
understanding and the use of that word tolerate in our day,
it doesn’t exactly leave us with a warm feeling, does it? I mean,
I don’t want to be tolerated. I know that word in our modern
day connotation is of a person who is painfully putting up with
someone or something with a kind of simmering disdain. The person
tolerating someone else in our society suggests someone rolling
their eyes, muttering under their breath about some individual. And yet the word is translated
in that more negative sense in our Bible. Speaking of the unbelieving
and perverted generation, Matthew 17, 17, Jesus asks, how long
shall I put up with you? And when it’s used to speak of
Christ tolerating or putting up with someone or something,
we understand that. This word is used in both a positive
and a negative sense in 2 Corinthians 11. It’s a fascinating passage.
Paul repeatedly asks the Corinthians to bear with him. That’s the
positive sense. But he turns and he chides these
same believers for tolerating the foolish false teachers among
them. That’s the negative sense. The
word is used both ways in scripture, so we can’t let our current use
of the word tolerate, dissuade us from embracing this principle
here in Colossians 3.13. Paul uses the word positively
in 2 Thessalonians 1-4 to commend those believers for enduring
persecutions and afflictions. The writer of Hebrews pleads
with his readers to bear with his word of exhortation. And
so when Paul says here that we are to bear with one another,
or as he says in the parallel passage, which we just read,
Ephesians 4.2, we are to patiently show tolerance for one another. We need not import our modern
negative connotation of this word. In its positive sense,
this bearing with others just speaks, really, of the application
of grace in order to restrain our reaction in the face of ill
treatment. Holding ourselves back from a
scornful response. It’s a noble and a godly thing
which Paul calls believers to hear. We bear with others when
we show compassion with their imperfections by thinking the
best of them, considering that they may be having a bad day,
that they may not realize how they are coming off, that they
are offending others, that there may be some other contributing
factor to their words and deeds, illness, lack of sleep, pain,
Endurance is an attitude that is cultivated by the application
of God’s grace. Paul uses this word in 1 Corinthians
4, 12, when we are persecuted, we endure. Both here in Colossians and in
the parallel letter, Ephesians 4.2, Paul urges this grace as
a kind of endurance that does peacefully and patiently bear
with the weaknesses and shortcomings of those around us. Those quirks
and mannerisms that are so frequently practiced by everyone else, including
ourselves. They may indeed be thoughtless,
slights against us. And these, he says, should be
met with forbearance, long suffering. Such a person does not respond
in kind, does not retaliate either in word or in deed. But he shows godly restraints
in the face of such treatment, such as the application really
of patience. a composed response even in the
face of provocation. Now, this forbearance, it isn’t
to be done with an attitude of sullen frustration. You don’t
go in the corner and pout and wait for your friend to respond.
As Paul says in Ephesians 4, 2, we are to show tolerance for
one another in love. The motivation for this gracious
forbearance is brotherly love. It’s the prayerful hope of God
changing our brother or sister’s heart. And so the result of the
Spirit’s production of this grace was a life marked by real, tangible,
practical patience. Instead of some measure of retaliation,
retribution, the godly individual walking as Christ would have
him to walk, actively bearing with the weaknesses, even the
rude treatment, especially by those who are his brothers or
sisters in Christ. It doesn’t mean that we overlook
things that are objectively sinful, but it does mean we bear long
with those offenses against us personally. There’s a second
description of what godly patience looks like. It’s there in verse
13. Not only are we to be bearing with one another, we are to be
forgiving of each other. This is a generic Greek word
here for forgiveness, karitsomai. It’s variously translated in
the New Testament to give, to grant, to hand over, to bestow. And it basically refers to the
giving of a favor freely. That’s the way God gives to us,
isn’t it? Freely by his grace. God began
to show his loving kindness towards us before we had even repented
of our sin. According to his plan of redemption,
he sent his son as a sacrifice for our sin. And so the word
does have this sense of forgiveness to it. Roughly half of the 23
times that the word is used, it is translated as forgive. This is the way that it’s translated
in the parallel passage in Ephesians 4.32, which verse we just read.
Paul exhorts that we are to be forgiving of each other, just
as God in Christ has also forgiven us. And please note, no one is exempted from the need
to cultivate this godly attribute. Did you see that? whoever has
a complaint against anyone. And he applies a number of things
there. First, that no one is exempt by their position or their
prominence, or because of the lowly position that they think
the offender occupies. When Paul says whoever, he insists
that this admonition is infinitely broad. It applies to every believer.
Secondly, neither does it matter who it is that has offended us.
Anyone, Paul says, and this serves to eradicate this mentality that
there may be some kind of pecking order in the church, that we
might overlook an offense if it’s someone big and important. If we think that they’re less
important, then we might be inclined to vent our full wrath at them. Paul says it doesn’t matter who
it is, whoever has a complaint against anyone. The third thing
I want to point out is this word complaint. It’s the only time
in the New Testament this word is used. And it speaks here of
the reason for the offense. We believe that we’ve been wronged
by some statement or some deed or some attitude that someone
manifested towards us. We have a complaint. We consider
it a debt that must be satisfied. They need to apologize. But the
nature of this word indicates that this is not a cut and dried
offense. It could be. We may have a legitimate
cause to complain. But it just as easily could be
a misunderstanding on our part, a matter of perception. It should
never surprise us if indeed someone does actually offend us. Sin does happen. Everyone, all
believers, sin against one another routinely. But even if it’s a
legitimate offense, it should not be allowed to stir our hearts
to resentment or vengeance. Instead, we are to cultivate
a heart of forgiveness. And it isn’t supposed to be the
kind of forgiveness that is held in abeyance, while malice all
the while builds in our heart, until an appropriate time arrives
for lashing out in some kind of retaliation. This instead
is a total and complete forgiveness that erases such offense from
one’s memory. What does forgiveness look like?
Paul provides the definitive example of forgiveness in the
final line of verse 13. We are to forgive just as the
Lord forgave you. So also should you. Paul says
almost the exact same thing in that verse we read, Ephesians
4.32, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has also forgiven
you. In both passages, Paul provides
the ultimate motivation for our forgiveness of others. God’s prior forgiveness of us.
The question may be asked, in fact, it must be asked, how or
in what way did Christ forgive us? If we are to emulate divine
forgiveness, we need to understand God’s forgiveness of us. God’s forgiveness is unconditional.
It’s out of his mercy and grace alone. He forgave us freely,
expecting nothing in exchange, nothing in return. He also forgives
us once and for all, not in waves or stages, little by little. And He forgives in such a way
as to never revisit the offense that we have confessed. You realize
that? Those sins were placed upon our
Savior and nailed to the cross. So we have no right. We have
no right to batter a fellow Christian over some wrong, to harshly demand
some restitution, or a perfectly crafted apology. We have no right
before our God and Savior to harbor resentment. No right. We have no right to harbor bitterness,
to hold a grudge against those who might have wronged us. God’s forgiveness of us far exceeds
our forgiveness of others. He’s holy, we’re not. Our sins
against him were greater far than any offense that could ever
be done against us. When we forgive, We are to do
so in the same manner in which God has forgiven us freely, without
resentment, without bitterness, without reproach. It means that
we are to pardon or forgive without hesitation. No strings attached. This grace takes the Christian
a step further than beyond just enduring. putting up with someone’s
treatment of us, here and clearly we are to exhibit a generous
and forgiving spirit. Now, this whole theme of reciprocal
graciousness, forgiving others as we have been forgiven, it
runs like a golden thread throughout the New Testament. We see it
here, we saw it in Ephesians 4. Would you turn to the Gospel
of Matthew? And to chapter six, Jesus spoke
of reciprocal graciousness early in the gospels. And what we call
the Lord’s prayer, what I probably would suggest is the disciples’
prayer. Jesus was teaching the disciples
to pray. Scroll down when you get to chapter
six to verse nine, would you please? where Jesus says, pray
then in this way, our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be
your name. Your kingdom come, your will
be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our
daily bread and forgive us our debts as we
also have forgiven our debtors. Do not lead us into temptation,
but deliver us from evil, for yours is the kingdom and the
power and the glory forever, amen. For if you forgive others
for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive
you. But if you do not forgive others,
then your heavenly Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Forgiveness is rather important. commodity. Jesus here issues
a demand that our forgiveness is to be modeled after the example
that God himself set forth. And he adds further that there
are consequences of forgiveness and unforgiveness. If we forgive,
our Father will forgive us. If we do not forgive, then we
must own our sin in full. So this oft-repeated principle
in scripture, here again, but the grandest presentation of
this principle anywhere is in Matthew 18. Would you turn there? Matthew chapter 18. And when you get there, scroll
down to verse 15, if you would, please. You know this as the definitive
passage on church discipline, and it lays out the steps of
that process. But look at verse 15. If your
brother sins, go and show him his fault in private. If he listens
to you, you have won your brother. What a beautiful end of the story,
if that’s the end. But if he does not listen to
you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of
two or three witnesses, every fact may be confirmed. And now things have become more
intense, more involved, more people involved. If he refuses
to listen to them, verse 17, tell it to the church. And if
he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you
as a Gentile and a tax gatherer. And so we’re supposed to address
our brother in private, which gives the best possible chance
of reception by the sinning brother. If he doesn’t listen, he doesn’t
repent, we’re supposed to take another brother or sister with
us for a second confrontation. If he still is unwilling to repent,
Jesus says, tell it to the church. Involve the entire church in
the discipline process. Well, that whole thing, Jesus
is laying out a pretty clear cut approach to addressing a
brother sister’s sin, but it produces a question by none other
than Peter. Peter verse 21, came and said
to him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and
I forgive him? Up to seven times? And Peter really believed that
he was being generous here. as do we, to which Jesus replies,
I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven,
as many times as your brother keeps coming back and seeking
forgiveness, we are called to forgive. In other words, he says
infinitely here, and this produces what is arguably one of Jesus’
best known parables. what I’ve titled before the $10
million sin. Would you just glance down at
verse 23? For this reason, the kingdom
of heaven may be compared to a certain king who wished to
settle accounts with his slaves. And when he had begun to settle
them, there was brought to him one who owed him $10,000, the
equivalent of 10 million. But since he did not have the
means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his
wife and children and all that he had in repayment to be made.
The slave therefore falling down prostrated himself before him
saying, have patience with me and I will repay you everything,
which is one of the most ridiculous claims in scripture. In a hundred
lifetimes, he couldn’t have paid off this debt. But look at the king’s response.
The Lord of that slave felt compassion, verse 27, released him and forgave
the debt. He didn’t set up a payment plan.
He didn’t give him a partial, a cut. He forgave him the entire
portion. But that slave, verse 28, went
out, found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred
denarii, and seized him and began to choke him, saying, pay back
what you owe. He was owed a tiny fraction of
what he had just been forgiven. But note his attitude, an unforgiving,
graceless attitude. His fellow slave fell down and
began to entreat him, saying, have patience with me and I will
repay you. This is a debt that could have
been repaid reasonably. He was unwilling, however, but
went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what
was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what happened, they
were deeply grieved and came and reported to their Lord all
that had happened. What a terrible story. But then
summoning him, his Lord, said to him, you wicked slave, I forgave
you all that debt because you entreated me. Should you not
also have had mercy on your fellow slave, even as I had mercy on
you? There isn’t anything, there isn’t
anything that someone could do to you that is greater than what
God has already forgiven that you did to him. That’s the lesson
of this parable. Look at verse 34, and his Lord
moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he
should repay all that was owed. We are to forgive as we have
been forgiven. So what do we do with all that,
especially as we draw near to the Lord’s table? Let me make a few applications
if I could. Offenses, as I see them, could
probably be categorized in three forms or stages, if you will,
of offense. There are potential offenses,
and as soon as we step out of our door, maybe even before,
we have the potential of coming across somebody who’s going to
offend us. There are potential offenses. There are also perceived
offenses. Somebody does something or says
something that makes us raise an eyebrow or two. Perceived
offenses. And then there are actual offenses. Now, potential offenses refer,
as I said, to the inevitability of someone offending us. We know
that such things are going to occur. It’s just a matter of
time. We don’t know who, we don’t know exactly when. And so we have to carry ourselves
constantly in a gracious manner. It’s going to happen. We need
to think the best of others, trusting others, not being suspicious
of them, of their motives. We should maintain constantly
a peaceable demeanor in which we’re not eager or inclined to
be offended. We should be humble, not above
being transgressed. It shouldn’t surprise us. We’re
nobody. That’s how we prepare for potential
offenses. We carry ourselves with grace. But we know that there will inevitably
be perceived offenses. These are those occasions where
a brother or sister says or does something that rubs us the wrong
way. We can’t put our finger on a
definitive, that is, chapter and verse kind of violation,
but we’re bothered by it nonetheless. These are those times that we
need to be very careful and prayerfully, if at all, approach our friend
inquisitively. Not accusingly. We’re seeking
clarification on what was said or done. It may well be that we misunderstood
our friend’s intentions. But it may well be that it leads
to that third kind of offense. It’s an actual, that is objective
and verifiable offense, a violation of chapter and verse principle.
Someone was rude or gossiped or slandered. In addressing an actual offense,
our friend may do one of two things. They may or may not seek
our forgiveness. If they seek our forgiveness,
there’s only one option for us. We need to grant the requested
forgiveness. And it’s done. There can be no justification
for withholding forgiveness after all that we’ve been forgiven.
And the forgiveness is full and free. The matter is dealt with
and it is closed and ought not ever be mentioned again. In the uncomfortable occasion where
our friend refuses to seek forgiveness, we are to cultivate in our hearts
a preparedness to forgive. We’ve already done the trench
work in our hearts. We’ve forgiven them in our hearts.
It’s what I might call pre-forgiveness. We’re ready. We’re right there. It’s an attitude of heart that
looks forward to extending forgiveness. Can’t wait. In this situation,
we especially need to guard our hearts zealously against bitterness,
rancor, retaliation. Well, those are suggestions for
dealing with offenses, potential, perceived, actual. And for any and all of this,
we need God’s abundant grace. Would you humble yourself before
him? Our Father God.