Party of One

If God’s people would take their
Bibles and turn back, once again, to chapter seven of 1 Corinthians. 1 Corinthians chapter seven,
a delicate series of passages. I don’t even think we’ve touched
upon the most delicate one yet, but we’re gonna tackle them,
a verse at a time, in order to honor God’s word. These are not
easy things to preach, but they are necessary things to preach. Paul has concluded his confrontation
of the more unseemly sins of the Corinthian church, that which
he addresses in chapters five and six. But in chapter seven,
even though the tone is softened, the subject of immorality is
still at the forefront. In this multifaceted epistle,
Paul not only wanted to confront issues of sin, but he also wants
to positively instruct his church, even in such delicate matters,
such as husband-wife relations. Paul is so gracious, his letter
is not one-sided. He does address his own many
concerns, but he’s also, as a faithful shepherd, taking the time to
respond to their concerns and their questions that were troubling
his little church plant. And so this is where we find
ourselves at the beginning of chapter seven, this shepherd’s
careful reply to subjects that were confusing to this flock. And we saw in verse one of chapter
seven, a simple formula, a literary device that Paul employs to enumerate
the many concerns that the Corinthians had. It’s the little formula,
now concerning. Paul uses that formula over and
over again in the remainder of this letter. The apostle uses
that little phrase to introduce one by one questions which the
Corinthians had presented to him by way of a letter of their
own. All Christians face a crisis
of transition. A transition from the world to
the kingdom of God. They don’t know how to operate.
And you can remember well, when you were first a Christian, before
you learned your Christianese, you were trying to figure out
how Christianity operated, what you ought to be doing. That’s
a lifelong process. But all Christians face this
crisis of transition. All of us have deep, perplexing
questions. And the Corinthians were no different.
They needed discipleship. like all believers, and they
knew exactly where to turn. They turned to their beloved
Apostle Paul by way of a letter of their own, replete with many
questions. And as Paul begins here in chapter
seven, as I said last week, It isn’t hard to picture Paul laying
this list of questions before him as he begins to respond to
each one of them. Now concerning, he begins. And as we saw, he will use that
phrase again and again throughout the epistle, six times in all,
each question producing a lengthy answer. Paul uses the phrase
to open chapter 7 in order to embark on a major discussion
of things pertaining to marriage. The Corinthian church, steeped
in this ungodly Greek culture of the day, understandably had
many questions, not the least of which were questions about
things pertaining to marriage and singleness. Again, we don’t
have their letter. But if we could read between
the lines, so to speak, we can reasonably speculate what some
of the questions that were troubling this church. Questions such as,
is marriage a sin? There were some that were actively
teaching that idea. Or at the opposite end of the
spectrum, is singleness a sin as the Jews for the most part
held? Or is singleness a better option
to marriage in God’s eyes? Should I perhaps divorce my wife
and pursue a life of singleness? Or even if I do not divorce her,
maybe we just set marital relations aside and we pursue a life of
pure spiritual service. As a Christian, ought someone
refrain from intimacy even with their spouse? Or, since my husband
is unsaved, may I end my marriage and enjoy my newfound faith?
Or, is it okay for an unbeliever Pardon me. Is it okay for a believer
to marry an unbeliever? Or is it wrong to divorce even
if my spouse abandons me? Or is the desire to be married
a sinful desire? Well, those questions or at least
questions like them seemed to plague the thinking of this young
church. So Paul is motivated by the loving
care of a godly pastor in eagerly replying to their questions.
These are not dumb questions to the Apostle Paul, and we find
his discipleship in this regard in Chapter 7. If you would, I
want to just take the first nine verses this morning so that we
can have verses six through nine in context. Chapter 7, verse
1, now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is
good for a man not to touch a woman, but because of immoralities,
each man is to have his own wife and each woman is to have her
own husband. The husband must fulfill his
duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority
over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise also, the
husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife
does. Stop depriving one another except
by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to
prayer and come together again so that Satan will not tempt
you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession,
not of command, yet I wish that all men were even as I myself
am. However, each man has his own
gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say
to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they
remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control,
let them marry. For it is better to marry than
to burn with passion.” We all have questions. Even after
walking with the Lord for a long time, we have questions, don’t
we? And we all need corrective, informative, the shaping influence
of discipleship. We don’t work through these ethical
dilemmas on our own, typically, and we certainly don’t do so
overnight. Discipleship, becoming more faithful
and true followers of Christ, requires instruction and time. Do you remember our friend Apollos?
He needed instruction. If you keep your finger in 1
Corinthians 7, would you turn to Acts 18? Apollos, the great
teacher, the one who basically was filling Paul’s shoes there
in Corinth, a very eloquent speaker and teacher, Apollos himself
needed further instruction. If you’re in Acts 18, look down
at verse 24. We reviewed these verses prior
to entering into 1 Corinthians. Now a Jew named Apollos, an Alexandrian
by birth, an eloquent man, came to Ephesus, and he was mighty
in the scriptures. This man knew the word of God,
and he had the unique ability to communicate the word of God.
This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and being
fervent in spirit, he was speaking and teaching accurately the things
concerning Jesus, being acquainted only with the baptism of John.
And so even with the gospel, the man was faithful. capable. He was probably making many converts,
but his understanding of baptism was very limited. And in verse
26, it says he began speaking out boldly in the synagogue.
But when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside
and explained to him the way more accurately. If you would
turn to the book of Galatians. Apollos needed discipleship. Apollos needed further instruction
in the ways of God and in the things of God. And you know what? So did Peter. Even the apostle
Peter. Apollos needed discipleship,
but even Peter, the Lord’s perhaps number one apostle, Even after
Christ’s ascension into heaven, Peter still needed discipleship.
If you’re in Galatians, look at chapter 2, verse 11. But when Cephas came
to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned
Peter was teaching things, essentially teaching that even believers
must revert back to subscribing themselves to the teachings of
the law in order to be saved. No wonder Paul rebuked him. For
prior, verse 12, prior to the coming of certain men from James,
he used to eat with the Gentiles, but when they came, he began
to withdraw and hold himself aloof, fearing the party of the
circumcision. And so Peter’s behavior, his
teaching needed fine tuning. We all need that. Peter needed
discipleship. Apollos needed discipleship.
And you know what? If you look at it, every single
one of Paul’s epistles is laden with instruction, the materials
for discipleship. So people who were already Christians
did not know everything. Everyone needs discipleship These things Paul will go on
to say in chapter 10 were written for our instruction as Paul says
One cannot become a mature Christian without the enlightening instructive
corrective blessing of Discipleship we need it We all need it And
I would just say, let me take the providential opportunity
right here to emphasize this point. We all need discipleship,
whether it’s by way of the pulpit at the very minimum, or by way
of Sunday school, or by way of Bible study, or by way of one-on-one
discipleship, or even by way of informal fellowship with other
believers, say, on Sunday afternoon. We all need things like these. We cannot grow in grace to maturity
without them. There, I said it. And the Corinthians
needed discipleship as well. And they acknowledge such by
their humble questions to Paul, help us is essentially what they
said by reaching out to the apostle, disciple us, instruct us, please. They appeal for God’s grace to
apply such knowledge. If they appeal for God’s grace
to apply such knowledge, then and only then will they begin
to mature as Christians. Then they are equipped to better
glorify God and their Savior. And so for the Corinthians, what
better place to turn? than their dear friend, their
father in the faith, their beloved apostle Paul, by whom many had
come to know Christ and with whom many had walked for as many
as 18 months. Of course, they should reach
out to Paul. He knows precisely the difficulties that afflict
this little church. He knows the challenges that
they face. He knows the culture. in which
they are operating and the vexing trials that that brings. And
so he has begun to provide them sound biblical counsel that they
so desperately need. So as we began last week with
the lesson about marriage, we can untangle that the first question
that Paul addresses in verses one through five is the issue
of marriage. Is marriage wrong? Is marriage
commanded? It’s prompted by a question along
these lines. Is it wrong to marry? Is singleness
preferable? Should I abstain even from marital
intimacy? Those kinds of things, something
like that. Paul takes the issue head on. We saw that there were
features of moral purity that Paul was addressing, and the
underlying principle, Paul says, that it’s good for a man not
to touch a woman. He’ll come back to that again
today and say that he wishes all men were just as he is, that
is, single. Then he grants an overarching
concession. He says that because of immoralities,
each man is to have his own wife, that there is a purpose, not
the only purpose, but one of the purposes of marriage is to
relieve that particular pressure. The third principle that we saw
is that the intimate significance of marriage, the husband fulfills
his duty to his wife, the wife to her husband. There’s a very
practical element to that. And the balanced admonition,
as we closed, as we saw last week, where Paul just says, stop
depriving one another. Marital intimacy is a God-given
gift. And so Paul first deals with
the matter of marriage, that it is a good state. Even though
he’s personally single, as we’ll talk more about this morning,
he counsels the married people to a wholesome enjoyment of marriage. And then he turns his attention
to the matter of singleness. And before we delve into verses
six through nine, I would just point out one very subtle pattern
here. And it almost reminds me of watching
a tennis match, you know, back and forth and back and forth.
If you’re sitting at the midline. It reminds me of a tennis match
because there’s a back and forth volley here that occurs in these
four verses. In verse six, he says, but you
might take that as the first shot. And then in verse seven
yet or but. And then in the middle of verse
7, however, another volley, and then in verse 8, but another
volley, and then in verse 9, yet another volley. And so there’s
this fascinating volley here in these four verses, back and
forth, back and forth, five times. Let’s pause and examine this
passage for a few moments, shall we? I’ve entitled it Party of
One. where Paul is going to give us
principles of singleness. He did that last week with regard
to marriage, principles of a godly marriage. But what about principles
of singleness? What if one finds themselves
single? The first thing that he tells
them is that singleness requires no allowance for passion. Singleness requires no allowance
for passion. We find it in verse 6, but this
I say by way of concession, not by way of command. Now, Paul
indeed is turning his attention to the issue of singleness. It’ll
become more clear as we go on, but it’s a comment that’s made
about marriage with which he starts. And the nature of this
comment ought to send shivers down the spine of any who would
attempt singleness on their own power. Listen to this, Paul starts
by saying, but, the first shot in his back and forth volley,
but this I say by way of concession. The first thing he says about
singleness is again a comment about marriage, and he says that
it is a concession. In other words, it’s an accommodation,
a God-given accommodation. Now Paul certainly knew the fullness
of the purpose of Marriage but one element was of it was an
accommodation This word doesn’t appear anywhere else in scriptures
we have to pause to make certain about what Paul is saying here
What exactly does Paul mean? by concession Well the word speaks
of advice and by someone who takes the context into consideration
and there is an agreement, accommodation, a concession for a particular
individual or individuals. The whole key here is tied to
whatever Paul means by this. When Paul says, but this I say,
what is this? Well, Clearly it looks backward
to something that Paul has said previously, and it could potentially
refer to the immediately preceding idea in verse 5, the husband
and wife coming together. And then again, it could potentially
refer to the entirety of verse 5, the command to stop depriving
one another. That’s possible. But I think
it’s far better given the overall context of this chapter to refer
to the idea that Paul champions in verse 2. Marriage. Marriage is a concession that
each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband. And
that best fits the context. And that leaves Paul saying here
in verse 6 effectively that This marriage is a concession that
it is basically an echo of what Paul has already said in the
previous verses, that marriage is a safeguard against immoralities. And that as such, husbands and
wives are to fulfill their duties to one another. Stop depriving
one another. Paul is alluding to the very
real pitfall of falling into all manner of immoralities simply
because not everyone is gifted and therefore supplied by the
enabling grace of God for singleness. Marriage is in part a concession
for the natural desires and weaknesses of humanity. Those are God-given
desires. But it’s a concession, not an
accommodation. And in this sense, the single
person ought to see flashing warning lights here. Did you
hear the blare of sirens even? I love Paul’s mind here. Marriage
is a concession so that the average person need not stumble into
an all too common arena and thereby dishonor God. But singleness
needs no such accommodation. Those that are called to singleness
do not struggle with passion like the average person. Marriage
is a concession, Paul says, not a command. He stops well short
for each of these conditions, marriage or singleness, from
saying that one is better than the other. Both are good states. under the right conditions. There’s
no command to marry. Neither will he command singleness. Marriage is permissible and so
is singleness. But marriage is a concession.
God has made concession for society, including believers in the state
of marriage. And there is at least a hint
here that there are inherent dangers for which God has accommodated
in the blessing of marriage. Marriage is not commanded. And
so Paul moves to the second principle. And we have to begin, verse seven,
another volley. Yet, but, not only does singleness
require no allowance for passion, but secondly, singleness would
be Paul’s desire for everyone. Look at verse seven, yet I wish
that all men were even as I myself am. Yet or but is the second volley,
I wish all men were even as I myself am. It’s not difficult to figure
out what Paul is alluding to here. Given the context, Paul
is referring to his own calling to the state of singleness. We
don’t know whether Paul was ever married at all, perhaps married
and widowed. Whether by this time his wife
was already passed, we don’t know. Most scholars agree that
in all likelihood Paul was never married. Throughout the book
of Acts and the entire body of his writings, no wife, no children
are ever mentioned. We can almost be certain that
he was not divorced. But at this present moment, he
is single and he is contented in that condition. While most
Jewish rabbis stipulated marriage and condemned singleness, Paul
strongly endorses the state of singleness. This is how Paul
can say, remarkably, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
And I wish that all men were even as I am. God gives all manner
of gifts, some for the service of Christ Church, some for the
service of humanity in general, and some for the very personal
element of celibacy. Regarding Paul’s wish, he cannot
literally mean every one. Otherwise the church would die
off in a single generation without children. So it’s a bit of acceptable
hyperbole here when he says, I wish that all were single just
like me. And he yields his wish almost
as soon as he utters it. But given the temptations, given
the horrendous culture in which the church was nestled, given
the great harvest ready to be reaped, given the fires of persecution
that were constantly being stoked, given the natural weaknesses
of human flesh, Paul says, I wish. So he wishes that others might
be as free and as unencumbered as he was. The sentiment that
Paul expresses here is really an echo of the words that Christ
uttered on the subject. We looked at these last week
briefly. Jesus said that under certain circumstances, Matthew
19, it is better not to marry. But he adds, not all men can
accept this statement. Because not all men are called
to singleness. Paul knew well that Not all men can accept this
statement because not all men are called to singleness. Not
all men have that gift. For the average man to attempt
to live in that state would be, as we saw last week, disastrous. As Paul summed it up with a single
word, immoralities, plural. But Paul introduces yet another
volley in the middle of verse seven. Singleness would be Paul’s
desire for all. Paul knew how undistracted he
was in the service of God, how much undistracted servants could
accomplish for God’s kingdom, but it’s a wish. And like his
thoughts on marriage, not a command. And by now to our trained ears,
we can hear it coming, can’t we? There’s another volley. We
find it in verse eight. Singleness not only requires
no allowance for passion, singleness would be Paul’s desire for all,
but thirdly, singleness and marriage are gifts. Look at the middle of verse seven,
however, but each man has his own gift from God, one in this
manner and another in that. And so right on cue, there is
another abrupt change of volley, and we see it right in the middle
of verse seven. But this is an even stronger adversative than
has been used thus far. Instead of de, the milder form,
but, the lead-off word of verse 7 is ala, the very strong adversative
in the Greek. Capital B, but. I wish that all
men were even as I myself am, but. And with that, Paul immediately
sets aside his wish for humanity and circles back to a more realistic
position, whether a person is single or married, both are gifts
from God. In Paul’s epistle to the Ephesians,
chapter four, verse seven, Paul uses similar imagery when he
reminds us that to each one of us, every believer, To each one
of us, grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.
We’ve looked at that passage before to see that every Christian
is granted a gift package when they are converted to Christ.
Some with a great many gifts, others with only a few, but we’re
all given gifts to serve Christ. Some have the gift of leadership,
administration, service, evangelism, and the like. But it speaks of
a special endowment by God himself. It’s a beautiful thought. And
just as God’s sovereignty controls the gifts in the church, Paul
says that God’s sovereignty extends into the various states into
which men and women are called. Some are called to marriage.
and some are called to singleness. Both are matters of giftedness.
Each man, he says, or each woman has his or her own gift from
God. The state into which a man resides
is entirely dependent upon God’s gifts and callings. And Paul
adds, one in this manner, another in that, one gifted and graced
to function without sin as a single man, and another gifted and graced
to function also without sin within a marriage. Both are gifts. And so it’s positively wrong
to say that, or to even suggest that only singleness is a gift.
Both singleness and marriage are God’s gifts, good states,
given the grace of God. Both are in desperate need of
the grace of God in order to glorify God in them. And so, singleness and marriage
are both gifts from God. Both marriage and singleness
are positions of God’s gifting. A man gifted for marriage ought
not long and aspire for singleness. You can’t use that as an escape
clause to get out of your marriage and say that I wish that I could
go serve the Lord unencumbered in some jungle without a wife.
And a man called and graced for singleness will not long for
the state of marriage, he won’t. And so we come to the fourth
principle, the fourth volley. Singleness requires no allowance
for passion. Singleness would be Paul’s desire
for all. Singleness and marriage are gifts. And fourthly, singleness is a
good state by whatever means you’ve come into it. Singleness
is a good state by whatever means you’ve come into it. Look at
verse eight. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that
it is good for them to remain even as I. Nevertheless, or as the adversative
is again translated here, but Paul circles back again to those
who are at that moment single. What he refers to here in verse
eight is the unmarried and to widows. Paul has instructions
for people who are single, no matter how one has come into
that state. either never having been married
or married and now made a widow by the death of one’s spouse.
This would include people young and old. The one class which
most commentators believe were admitted here are what Paul refers
to as virgins, young unmarried daughters, verse 25. He’ll issue
a lengthy directive toward that particular group. We’ll get to
it in a few weeks. But in his point here in verse
8, Paul reverts again to the point that he made in chapter
7 verse 1. It is good for a man not to touch
a woman. And to go on to urge in verses 20 and again, his counsel
would be to remain in the condition in which you were called. If,
as Jesus qualified, you can bear such a statement, if a person
can welcome such a severe calling, it is a likely sign that they
have the gift of singleness. Paul’s main point in verse 8
is essentially to reiterate the state of singleness as a morally
good state. Remember, he’s dealing with many
questions. The Jews thought that singleness was a sin. Paul says,
no, it’s a morally good state. And it would have been stark
if Paul had simply said, in effect, singleness is good. But instead
he says, look at this. It is good for them. It’s good
for them to those who are called to it. It’s good. It’s a good
state. If they’re truly called and graced for such a condition,
it’s good. And if a person is called to
such, They must not let societal pressure influence them into
taking a spouse but to remain as Paul echoes his phrase of
verse seven, even as I, single. For any and all who have come
into the state of singleness, whether through the loss of a
spouse, particularly those regarding in a culture immersed in gross
immorality, it is a perfectly good place for a single person
to remain such. Singleness is a good state however
you’ve come into that state. And there’s one final volley
that we find in verse nine. Singleness requires no allowance
for passion. It would be Paul’s desire for
all. It’s a gift just like marriage is. It’s a good state, however
you’ve come into it. And fifthly, singleness is contingent
upon self-control. Singleness is contingent upon
self-control. Look at verse nine. But if they
do not have self-control, let them marry. For it is better
to marry than to burn with passion. And Paul echoes again the point
that he made to begin the section, verse 7, because of immoralities,
or as he says here, but if they do not have self-control. This
is the great condition in the pursuit of singleness. And remember,
Paul has already given the same advice to the married in verse
five. Come together again so that Satan
will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Singleness,
celibacy is a good moral station. It frees the individual up to
serve the Lord in a uniquely undivided measure. Few, if any
distractions. but only if one has the grace
of God to remain pure. The distraction of passion is
far worse and ultimately renders the individual unsuitable for
service. Immorality is dishonorable to
the Lord, but plunging or entering into marriage is not. If singleness
results in sin, all the benefits of singleness are lost. And so
Paul says, Observe for yourself. Look at your heart. Know your
limitations. If you do not have self-control,
marry. Or as he says it, let them marry.
The word translated as self-control is spoken of as inner strength. It’s more than that. It’s the
grace of controlling passions. the passions within so that they
do not burst forth onto the surface and result in sin. It’s as if
in a single person exercising self-control that those passions
are so under control it’s as if they don’t exist. And Paul
paints a graphic picture of this condition at the end of verse
9. He describes it as burning. burning with passion, what one
capable shepherd described as the fire of inward lusts in conflict
with conscience. If that’s where you are, you’re
not called to singleness. This is not the threatening of
the fires of hell. This is the self observation
that knows the inner turmoil in dealing with the flesh. It
is the presence of a raging battle within. And if there are those
battles, if there is that tendency to burn with passion, Paul’s
advice is simple. Run. Do not walk. Find a godly spouse. Let them
marry. Singleness is contingent upon
self-control. Attempting singleness without
a divine call And the grace of God is foolhardy and dangerous. God has made concessions for
those who do not have self-control in this area. It’s the state
of marriage. And if there is lust or pornography or sinful
thoughts or inclinations, those are likely indicators that one
does not have the gift of singleness. There are bigger questions looming
ahead in chapter seven that Paul will tackle, but he’s dealt already
with marriage and singleness. He’s dealt pretty much with all
of us already. Let’s humble ourselves before
the throne of grace.