Honoring Others

We are working our way through not only Paul’s letter to the Romans, but specifically now chapter 12 of that great epistle. And so if you would please turn there, Romans chapter 12.

As we have seen, Paul is speaking much more practically now here than he did in those first 11 chapters, heavy theology there. But in verse one of chapter 12, He moves to make practical the application of that theology, and specifically he calls believers to sacrificial living, to present their bodies a living and holy sacrifice.

Well, sacrificial living, Paul proceeds to tell us, means not being conformed to the world, but being transformed, and that by God’s grace, God’s spirit, and God’s word, where we are little by little, more and more conformed to the image and character of Christ.

As we already have been reminded, When individuals are changed by God’s grace, it has a wholesome and beneficial effect on the entire church. The church is comprised of transformed people, and it reflects that supernatural change as Paul begins to describe in verse 3.

The transformed church is a gathering of people living humbly, that is, with sound judgment, a church that works in harmony, that is, interconnected as a interdependent body, and a church that serves appropriately, each believer exercising his or her God-given gifts.

Well, in verse 9, we saw that Paul begins to apply these principles to individual Christians, not just the body of Christ. And his remaining address in verses 9 through 21 could really be broken up into three main areas of focus.

He addresses the believer’s demeanor toward other believers. How do we interact with fellow believers in verses 9 through 13? We considered that section last Sunday.

Here in verses 14 through 16, Paul broadens his focus where he addresses now the Christian’s demeanor toward other people in general. And we’ll look at these verses this morning.

But then finally, at the third section, Lord willing, we’ll take up next Lord’s Day. He speaks of the believer’s demeanor toward those who are contrary. And we all know people like that. Those who have wronged us. And he addresses that in verses 17 through 21. We hope to take that passage up next Sunday.

Just to reset the context a little bit, Paul knows that as soon as people begin to think and function and serve together, as soon as the gears begin to mesh, friction and even strife soon develops. And that’s what Paul addressed in verses nine through 13, our demeanor towards fellow believers.

And we’ve all likely seen the reality of this, strife in God’s church, where the peaceful fellowship of believers is destroyed by enmity and bickering We’ve all surely seen it or at least heard of it. And sadly, no church is immune to that kind of infighting and division.

And Paul knew the potential of this was great in the church of Rome. Because wherever Christ’s work begins to flourish, the devil will not be far behind. And because we know the devil’s tendency to stir up trouble within the church, and because we know that human nature is susceptible to his promptings, and because we know that other churches have experienced such difficulty, we have to be vigilant to watch for the very beginnings of such division.

This was Christ’s church, the body for which he died. We cannot be naive or indifferent to the wiles of Satan.

And so, in our consideration of Paul’s initial application, 9 through 13, we humbly examined ourselves with Paul’s opening words, let love be without hypocrisy. And we saw that that opening line really functions as a title or a description of those verses nine through 13, which we proposed loving unhypocritically. That’s what we’re called to. We’re called to a genuine loving concern for one another. Everything else in the section there explains that one very challenging sentence.

Our experience has shown that the more time people have on their hands, if that time is not spent in the humble service of others, in the development and exercise of genuine brotherly love, other things, ugly things, destructive things, move into that void and drive out whatever semblance of love there was. We don’t know the specifics of what was going on in the Roman church, why Paul brought up this subject of hypocritical love, but we quickly acknowledge the tendency for such, even in our own hearts.

Love is not just a kind face. It’s not just pleasant words, but it is a sincere, practical affection for God’s people. And in the case of the Romans, as with a lot of churches, it was much easier to pretend to go through the motions of brotherly love than it was to practice the real thing. This is a potential problem for all Christians. There’s always a temptation to fake it with regard to brotherly love, to reduce it to mere talk only.

No matter the situation or the day and age in which believers live, we can always be tempted to project the outward appearance of love, all the while holding it at bay in our hearts. It’s functional deceit. The only source for genuine love is the Holy Spirit, and genuine love is the only kind of love that the Spirit produces. But as erring people, we tend to let the air of hypocrisy taint and devour the real thing. And so we have to guard our hearts against hypocrisy and constantly plead that the Spirit would shape us after Christ in a genuine, unhypocritical love for one another.

This is the reason that we look so carefully at verses nine through 13. And as always, in light of God’s word, we examined our life in view of this. And we were led to call out to Christ for whatever grace was lacking. But in addition to applying the principle of sacrificial living to believers dealing with other believers, Paul also must apply this to our demeanor toward others in general. this is what he does as I pointed out a moment ago in verses 14 through 16.

Would you follow along as we look at those verses this morning?

Bless those who persecute you, bless and curse not. Rejoice with those who rejoice, Weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.”

This is kind of a buffer. between his discussion about our demeanor toward fellow believers in verses 9 through 13 and our demeanor toward those with whom we are at odds in verses 17 through 21. But here he interjects this little section, kind of a buffer, our demeanor towards people in general. And there are three distinct admonitions here. Each of them urge Christians toward cultivating a heart that truly honors others. Not just that we love one another, but we honor them as well. And this too is a fruit of the transformation that God is in the midst of doing in us as believers by his spirit and his word.

And so let us commence to looking at this passage. Developing a heart that truly honors others. And the first thing that we would call our attention to is that an other-oriented mindset will surely include desiring good for others who have a contrasting opinion of us. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and curse not.

This first admonition, those who persecute you, speaks of receiving harsh treatment by others. We’ve all experienced it. The first thing that I would tell you about this is that it’s a mere introduction to a subject that he will expand upon here shortly. Paul will elaborate much more on the subject of persecution in verses 17 through 21. How are we to respond to those who are contrary to us? There are in those verses, Paul narrows his focus. He focuses exclusively on that element. He’s zeroed in there in 17 through 21 on those who are contrary with us, who are, in a sense, against us. But here in verses 14 through 16, Paul’s focus is much more general. And so we can consider verse 14 here as a kind of a forecast of what Paul is going to take up, an introduction to that very painful subject.

Now, the context here in verses 14 through 16, we should note, follows immediately on Paul’s address regarding our demeanor towards our fellow believers. In that sense, it only makes sense that he would address this here. There he informs believers of the expectation of showing genuine love toward our fellow believers. But even if we excel in that, our love cannot possibly be exhausted, because here he urges that we are to show that same Christ-like love even to our enemies.

The initial question we have to ponder here is what does the word persecute mean? To what does it refer? We’ve only recently come across this word. We saw it back in verse 13. There, it’s translated as practicing. Well, the basic meaning of the word is to pursue, to chase after. And it can point blandly to following someone without any hostile intention at all, but it does have a darker side. And the fullest and the most regular use of this word refers to that hateful treatment by someone because of what we believe or we don’t believe. And so for the Christian, persecution is that harsh treatment that we receive. We endure because of our faith in Jesus Christ and some of the positions that we take because of that.

Well, typically in the New Testament, the word persecution points to suffering that is inflicted for the sake of righteousness. Simply holding to some biblical truth. And we know well that the world hates, still hates, Christ and everything about him. His condemnation of sin, his demand for holiness of life, those things are uncomfortable to the world. And so for his disciples, even the proclamation of the gospel stirs the world’s hatred. So great is the world’s hatred for the things of God that most often we don’t even have to say a word. Just our mere presence that we could be associated with those kinds of people. Simply holding to a biblical principle, obeying that which is good and right, walking in righteousness. These things condemn the world. And so the world in turn hates us for it.

This is an important thing to remember about the true nature of persecution. It’s in response to good behavior, not bad. If we do wrong, we justly deserve ill treatment. Ill treatment can only be deemed persecution when it is inflicted out of malice for that which is good and right. Vindictive and malicious treatment toward those who are doing what God would have them. The Apostle Peter, in his first epistle, straightforwardly clarifies what is and what is not persecution. Go ahead and turn there, 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter 3, keep your finger in Romans 12, we’ll just be here for a moment. 1 Peter chapter 3, and when you get there, glide down to verse 13, where Peter writes, And who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear their intimidation and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you. yet with gentleness and reverence. And keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.

True persecution is suffering for doing what is right. If you’re doing wrong, You deserve whatever comes. Back, if you would, to Romans 12.

The reality is that this experience of persecution, to some degree, is to be expected. As we grow in Christ, as we mature, as we begin to observe and practice godly principles, elements of righteousness, we are going to draw the world’s attention. Paul told Timothy in some of his final words, indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ will be persecuted. You can expect it. The Roman church was already feeling it from the Roman government, and it was about to get much, much worse. And so this persecution of which Paul speaks could take the form of criticism and cruel treatment like we often receive. It could take the form of a job loss or a denial of a promotion. It could take the form of slander, imprisonment, ultimately even martyrdom. It takes a myriad of different forms, but it has one cause, a relationship to Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Well, then Paul’s point here is that when we meet with genuine persecution, we are to respond appropriately. And Paul narrows it down here for us. There are only really two possible responses to persecution, blessing or cursing. Look again at verse 16, if you would. We are to bless those who persecute us. That’s a bitter pill to swallow, isn’t it? We are to bless those who treat us harshly and not curse them.

Let’s look at the improper response first. I think I just directed you to verse 16. It’s verse 14. Let’s look at the improper response of cursing. And cursing here is not the same thing as swearing, according to our modern vernacular. using bad words, if you will. Here it points specifically to invoking evil upon another person, most likely one who is against us, sinned against us, threatening us, or one who has already harmed us. One who curses his detractor or his opponent levies the harshest insults and invectives against him. His words are venomous. He verbally wishes and somehow even prays for the worst kind of evil to befall the one who has troubled him. This cursing, then, is a most unholy kind of anger, lashing out at someone, ungodly stewing in unforgiveness. And the frightening thing is, What is more common than responding in kind to harsh treatment? When James speaks of this same practice, it’s almost matter of fact. Speaking of the tongue, James says, with it we bless our Lord and with it we curse men. Almost matter of fact, it happens all the time. Lest we forget, James’s argument against such behavior is rooted in God’s creation. With our tongue, we curse men who have been made in the likeness of God.

And yet even the Lord’s earthly disciples were not above this bad behavior. Remember when one Samaritan village refused them groceries. His disciples asked, Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them? Jesus makes it clear there, as Paul does here, that such an attitude is utterly un-Christlike.

When others wrong us, we exceed their sin in calling down God’s judgment upon them. That cannot be Christlike. And so Paul says here that not only are we not to curse those who do us wrong, we are to positively bless them.

The word that he translates here as bless can carry a number of different meanings in scripture. God blesses us by pouring out his goodness and grace upon us. If we bless God, we are effectively praising him. But when we bless others, including those who have wronged or persecuted us, we are seeking God’s blessings. God’s benefits to be bestowed upon them, the very ones who have done us evil.

It is admittedly a hard thing to do. Instead of calling down fire from heaven to consume our enemies, we are to call down the sweet bounties of God’s grace to be lavished upon them. Quite a contrast. And yet these words are the very words of Christ, Luke 6, 28, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

You see, it’s one thing to bite our lip, to grit our teeth, to bear up under foul treatment without retaliation, that’s one thing, but it’s quite another to seek God’s blessings upon such people. Such a response can only begin in a heart that has been redeemed. Only a genuine Christian can genuinely, sincerely ask God to do his or her enemy’s kindness.

This elusive mindset, so difficult for even the most seasoned of God’s saints, is the very attitude that Jesus urged upon his followers. Listen briefly to Matthew chapter five. You’ve heard it said that you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you so that you may be sons of your father who is in heaven. For he causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? Did you grasp that?

God sends the rain and causes the sun to rise on the evil and the unrighteous, then it must necessarily be a godly quality to affirm God by doing so in prayer. Jesus says there that it is a God-like quality to seek good for those who do us evil. Think of Jesus’ own example as he hung dying upon that cross. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.

Truly, if Christ died for us while we were yet sinners, then he has the divine right to expect of us that we would wish good, not ill, upon our fiercest enemies. We are called to bless our enemies. This is a principle that echoes throughout the pages of scripture.

Exodus 23. Just listen. If you meet your enemy’s ox or his donkey wandering in the way, you shall surely return it to him. If you see the donkey of one who hates you, lying helpless under its load, you shall refrain from leaving it to him. You shall surely release it with him. In other words, he says, you need to go care even for your enemy’s donkey.

Proverbs 24, verse 17. Do not rejoice when your enemy falls. Do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles. That is to call down the judgment of God on your own head. Proverbs 25, verse 21.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat. If he is thirsty, give him water to drink. for you shall heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.” We are to bless those who persecute us. We are to love our enemies in spite of their hatred towards us.

Job 31, have I rejoiced in the extinction of my enemy or exulted when evil befell him? This quality is refined and undergirded in the New Testament. It’s throughout the pages of Scripture, but Paul sets forth the appropriate response as believers to the harsh treatment of others.

1 Corinthians 4, Paul says the same thing in verses 12, when we are reviled, We bless. When we are slandered, we try to conciliate. Peter likewise says that we are not to return evil for evil, insult for insult, but give blessing instead, 1 Peter 3, 9.

The surest way to do this is to pray for them. In fact, I’ve often spoken to someone who is allegedly reconciled to someone. They have extended their forgiveness for some great wrong. And I will often ask, you can brace yourself for this, have you prayed for God’s blessing upon them? Have you asked God to do them kindness? That’s a good test, isn’t it? And it’s only possible by God’s grace.

Paul wants us to develop a heart that truly honors others. The second feature of this and others-oriented mindset will surely include a desire for others who desire good for others who have a contrasting opinion of us, but secondly, cultivating empathy for others with varying life experiences.

Look at verses 15 and the first portion of 16. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. We’re called to be genuine, even in our outward expressions.

Rejoice with those who rejoice. There’s a second element of our behavior that we will find. If the Lord is working in our hearts and developing in us an others-oriented mindset, we will be cultivating empathy for others, no matter their life circumstances. Rejoice with those who weep. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

Now, it almost goes without saying here that weeping with those who weep is much easier to do than rejoicing with those who rejoice. We’ll talk more about that in a minute, but because we know the pains of life so well, sympathy for others in the midst of their suffering comes much more naturally to us but not so much with rejoicing.

Because of that, let’s consider the easy one first, weeping with those who weep. There’s a line from an old poem. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone. It’s a sad but true thought that the heart alone knows its own bitterness. Very few other people will ever truly be able to know the depths of our personal griefs.

Trials come, and heartache with it. And for much of that very dark journey, except for the comfort of the Lord, we’re very much alone. Only the truest of Christian friends will stand with us, but even they cannot fully enter into our grief. And so Paul urges a tender sympathy here by Christians.

I believe that here in verse 15, the potential for vindictiveness is gone. Here it’s indifference that concerns Paul. We have a tendency to get totally caught up with our own lives, our own trials, our own hurts, our own things, so much as this is the case that, like so many pinballs rolling around the board of life, occasionally we bump into one another. But that’s not Christianity. That’s not the church. We’re not supposed to live like that. We’re called into a living, interactive, genuine fellowship with one another.

And among other things, our fellow believers’ griefs are our griefs. We are to weep with those who weep. Writing to the Corinthians, Paul said it this plainly to the church there, if one member suffers, all the other members suffer with it. After all, though the body of Christ is made up of many different parts, we are one body. If you drop something on your toe, right? your whole body is going to react. Likewise, in the church, Christian sympathy urges that we have a genuine sympathy for our brother and sisters’ trials and distresses. We’re to watch for those who are hurting. We’re to prayerfully come alongside them, care for them, empathize with them, enter into their suffering.

You see, nothing builds the true unity of the body of Christ as much as a commonality of suffering. As I’ve already noted, weeping with those who rejoice, weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice, the easier of the two is the shedding of tears of compassion for a friend who is hurting. Almost any believer would find it difficult not to enter into fellowship with the pain of a dear friend in Christ. We can feel it.

Unfortunately, it’s not so with rejoicing. To actually enter into the joy of a fellow believer is a very rare thing. Only the truest of our Christian friends will genuinely rejoice in his or her innermost being for the joy of our own. And almost instinctively, the one who rejoices knows this. so that they do not demand or wait for others to come alongside them in their happiness. They exult in the blessing that they have received. But they do so mostly alone.

The pitfall with rejoicing is that it is so often surrounded on all sides by a temptation to envy, right? To question the propriety of the blessing that they enjoy. as if God himself has misdirected this blessing. And that inhibits the sharing of the joy that is so fitting of the occasion. You see, in that verse I cited a moment ago in reference to weeping, it has another side to it. 1 Corinthians 12, 26, if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it. But he also goes on to say, if one member is honored, All the members rejoice. The body of Christ, a blessing bestowed on one is a blessing bestowed on the entire body. It’s an answer to our prayer, so that we ought to rejoice as if we personally were the recipient.

Paul drives home this point in verse 16, not with a new and different line of reasoning, but a reiteration of what he’s already articulated in verse 15, be of the same mind toward one another. That isn’t a new point. It’s a familiar echo of the two previous lines, literally the same into one another thinking, whether joy or sorrow. And he calls us here in verse 16 to be like-minded. We all know the golden rule, right? Treat the other person as you would like to be treated. This here is just an application of the golden rule to our sentiments. Don’t be a snob. Don’t act like you’re better or more important or indifferent to your brother’s sufferings or joys. Don’t stand aloof from others, especially if they’re hurting. If you’re hurting or exuberant, you want others to sympathize with you in those emotions. It’s a natural desire. And this like-mindedness is the very foundation of peace in the church. We care for one another. Not an exhortation here to a rigid doctrinal adherence, but again, it’s to empathy that is insisted upon there in verse 15. Care for one another. And Paul carefully unpacks here and describes this like-mindedness in those next two lines of verse 16.

Would you glance? Do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Now, haughtiness, that’s a word that has faded from our modern vocabulary, right? It refers to an arrogance of mind, the outward expression of pride. People can see it. Earlier in this epistle, it was translated as conceited. And this kind of arrogance almost always leads to presumptuousness and an attitude of entitlement that is destructive to the fellowship of God’s people. This is the individual who really believes in his heart and it bubbles to the surface of his life that he is better than everyone around him. And so he stands off and aloof from others, especially those who are lowly or troubled.

No wonder Paul immediately provides the antidote to this, associate with the lowly, literally the humble. far from arrogantly positioning himself above everyone around him, the humble child of God thinks themselves to be on the same level as everyone in the church, even the lowest member. The humble, the lowly, the meek, the downtrodden. That shouldn’t be hard for a Christian, right?

The translation here associated is a word that speaks of being carried along as with a current in a river. And the suggestion here is that we are not to fight against our interaction with even the most humble among us, but that we are to yield ourselves fully to fellowship. We should make ourselves at home among any of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Come alongside them. pray for them, see how God might want us to serve them. There should be no task that is beneath us as a believer.

And so I query here, can you come alongside someone who is hurting? Can you truly be happy for someone who is enjoying some great blessing from God? Not thinking of yourself at all, but thinking only of the blessing that God has bestowed upon the body of Christ in this one person. Are you above and aloof from others who are either in calamity or grief or joy in their circumstances? Is there anyone who you feel is beneath you to befriend?

You see, God is molding and shaping us, developing in us hearts that reflect our Savior. He’s working into us each an other-oriented mindset that will include desiring good for others who have a contrasting opinion of us, cultivating empathy for others with varying experiences, And thirdly, developing personal humility for others with differing perspectives. Developing personal humility for others with differing perspectives. Not just different life experiences, but brace yourselves, different opinions.

Do not be wise in your own estimation, Paul says. Paul’s third point here is not unrelated to the two previous. Personal humility is still very much related to an other-oriented mindset, just as seeking God’s blessing on those who hate us or cultivating empathy for those in circumstances that we cannot relate to. In fact, personal humility is a crucial element for both of those two previous elements. What the apostle points to here in that second statement of verse 16 is self-conceit, an attitude of mind and heart that thinks and feels and conducts oneself as if they are the ultimate source of knowledge and wisdom. Arrogance or conceit is completely destructive to a fellowship of God’s people. It deceives a person into thinking that their thoughts and opinions matter more than anyone else’s. And worst of all, this air of superiority centers not just on our ideas and opinions. Unchecked pride will ultimately lead a person to thinking that they are more important than anyone else.

Such a person, by their attitude, exhibits a blinded ignorance to their own pride. They can’t see it. This concern is aptly addressed in the Proverbs. Proverbs 3, 7, do not be wise in your own eyes. Don’t be your own biggest fan. Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Writer of Proverbs calls it evil. Thinking ourselves as wiser or more important than those around us is a sure indication of self-delusion.

A person who sets himself, himself, or herself as being wise by personal assessment, mind you, essentially betrays the opposite. Not only are they not wise, they’re fools. This is the person who holds no court, seeks no counsel, has himself all the answers to life’s questions. In their pride, they eschew any counsel but their own. And they put themselves forth as the source of all wisdom. Such an attitude is not an indication of the humility wrought in the heart of a believer by the Holy Spirit.

The humble child of God ought to be always cultivating a heart to learn, ever open to the examination of the Spirit of God and to Scripture, regardless of what human agent he employs. As it says elsewhere in the Proverbs, let another praise you, and not your own mouth.

A Christian man or woman needs no needs to battle against such an attitude of pride and cry out for the Spirit of God to address this alarming malady. We need the grace of humility. We need the Spirit of Christ, meek and lowly. We need God to develop within us a personal humility toward those who have differing perspectives on situations and life.

Philippians 2.3, Paul echoes that there, do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. That’s a good test, isn’t it? By the way that you treat others, could it really be said that you believe that they are more important than you?

Would you humble yourselves before our holy God? Our merciful King, we come before you. And what practical words these are. How common these pitfalls that Paul addresses. Lashing out at those who dare to wrong us. being indifferent and aloof and apart from those who are either rejoicing in your bounties or laboring under the difficulties of life. Lord, how common these are, thinking that we are the source of all wisdom and knowledge.

Father, grant us humility to examine our hearts. Grant us grace, we pray, to change. We know that you are in the process of sanctifying every believer in this room. We know that each one of us has a measure of this embedded in our own hearts. And Lord, without your grace, we would not eradicate it. We would not purge this sin from our hearts unless you expose it and call us to repentance. We plead for that.

Lord, we know that there’s a tendency as well to try to mimic or copy some of these divine graces, blessing others, refraining from cursing them, Rejoicing, coming alongside those who are hurting. Lord, oftentimes those who do not know Christ do this very well. But even that will not save. So we pray for any here who do not know the Lord Jesus. You draw them first to repentance for their sin. Point them to the cross. What Jesus has already accomplished in his death on the cross, and the payment for sin.

Lord, and then, only then, begin that work of sanctification in their lives as well. Father, we thank you for the privilege that we have to walk together with such a godly group of believers. A group of believers in which we can see your hand at work, shaping, chastening sin and drawing us and making us evermore like Christ. Lord, we thank you for that privilege. We ask your blessing on our time in Jesus name. Amen.